avralivia

What to say…hmm

I set this blog up to basicaly record my thoughts and experiences as I go through a major journey in my life.

I have been into BDSM for around 5 years…before then I was just a normal woman with enormously unusual thoughts, and fantasies, or so I thought.

Yes I was a late starter, I had a lot of years finding myself in other ways, building my confidence, becoming the woman I am today.

And who is that woman?

Well I am 34 almost 35 I live in devon with my two sons, i work full time in a job that i quite enjoy and with good colleagues that make me laugh

I guess im pretty easygoing and funny, so im told I laugh a lot, and always have a smile ready for anyone that wants a smile exchange lol. I like people who are friendly and kind, who have big hearts and care about their friends. i have no time for people who are all about themselves, and don’t give anything of themselves. I like to give but I cant just give give give you know

So when im not working being a mum etc, what am I about….

Well there it gets a little more interesting I guess…. I used to spend time with my *Boyfriend* errghh nasty vanilla term, he was also my slut but hey ho We used to goto a pub we liked full of goths and metal heads on a saturday night, anyway blah blah that all changed when I found he was messing about with a subby girl online, not the first time, but the second, so i had to tell him to go….. but I think it was for the best, and we are still friends we couldnt give each other what we needed ultimately and thats never good is it?

Now… what do I do now… it all started with a little epithany I had.. that was 10 days ago now, on valentines day in fact… the irony of life and its little twists and turns of fate never fail to stun me.

I finally realised what I wanted when I was on IC reading some posts…good old IC lol. And i remembered what i wanted out of BDSM all those years ago, when the longings were so strong, then i remembered what REALLY gets me going, then I remembered how much i hadn’t tried…. So rather than just thinking hmmm well I spose thatll be hard to get as you do I decided to put on my profile that I had had an epithany, that what I wanted/needed/craved was to have a Master, to meet someone who was strong willed experienced and intriguing.

Course thats all very well isnt it? I mean we all want that your thinking… well see….. there was someone I was atracted to the sound of on IC, but I thought he wouldnt want someone like me lol, a “newb” et, anyway, nice bloke, clearly intelligent with a wicked sense of humour, and a sparkle to him that made me think mmmm, oh and LOTS of experience.

I dont know if i would have plucked up the courage to approach him though if it wasnt for the fact that it was valentines evening Id had two thirds of a bottle of wine, and I was feeling mischevious (nowt new for me lol).

So I sent him a valentine sock puppet basically saying.. Your interesting and Im interested, but I bet youve had tonnes of women after you so im doing this anonymously lol… then i got back an anonymous note saying hi, no i didnt get 100s of valentines, and im single so come get me (or something like that, the damn memos have been deleted )

So there I was velentines day, alone, bottle of wine… I thought fuck this shit, I like him im gonna tell him its me.

Guess what he said? “I knew it was you” and he did lol, just from the way i spoke to him in a few memos apparently, damn these mega intelligent dominant men and their seeing all hehe

So we memo’d a fair few back and forth, compared geekiness, we are both mega into sci-fi lol, we clicked, isnt that what im getting at? added him to msn…chatted…he called me, by the next nite at half 9 we had agreed i’d go and meet him the next day… For sci-fi and vodka of course! and we did.

I got there at about 3 and by half 6 I was really drunk haha, oh well things got more interesting after I sobered up

Iv’e been back for the second weekend, and I have to say he is never predictable, always fun to be with, and challenges me mentally aswell as majorly helping me develop my submissive side.

This blogpage is for me to work through my feelings about it all when I get back, and to put it down on paper before the feeling fades so I can look back and REALLY remember, its also for him, to see what im enjoying, to see what makes me tick, and for a good read